My Two Cents

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Now, today's story...

I'm thinking about changing the name of my blog to "Me? Cheapskate? Stop..." because I'm about to tell another story about a ridiculously small amount of money.

And I mean it's not like I really care, but the story makes me laugh. And it will make you laugh. And if it doesn't make you laugh, then I don't care to hear about it. And if I don't stop starting sentences with "and" someone is going to drop and anvil on my head.

Okay, you're still with me. That's pretty surprising. You're a good person. I like you. Well, except for you. Yes, you know who you are.

Still here, eh? Then you deserve a story about a couple of pennies.

I went to lunch this afternoon with Liz and Cortney to celebrate our escape from Colonel Sanders' Communication Law class. Yes, it's finally over. And though this may be the first time I'm mentioning it, I assure you it wasn't nearly as much fun as it sounds. And if you think it already does not sound fun — well, ponder that.

Wow, you are still reading. Kudos to you. So we landed on Applebees post our 33-question final courtesy of Professor Fried Chicken. (Seriously, these jokes would make more sense if I had a picture. Wait, I do.)

I guess Liz and Cortney pissed off the hostess because they wanted nothing more or less than a booth. They were worried someone would spit in their food. But that fear seemed to dissipate once we got a waitress. A nice one. Who they refused to speak to. So I did all the talking.

I ordered our appetizer. I ordered extra napkins. I ordered separate checks. I ordered take-home boxes. And apparently all of this was cause for an extra 2¢ to be added onto my bill.

We asked Marisol (the waitress, how'd you guess?) to add it all up and split it three ways since I was the only one paying with cash. Well she did that. Except that while Liz and Cortney paid $11.99 each, I was charged $12.01. Only I paid just $12.00 because Marisol was too lazy (or too generous) to give me $0.99 and replaced it with the full dollar bill.

Still, was it all my input during the meal that triggered the need for me to put my two cents in again when it came time to pull out the wallets? As much as it may seem like I'm complaining, I promise you I am not. I'm completely indifferent to being charged an extra two pennies. Really. I swear.

Okay, fire away with the cheapskate jokes. I can take it.

Fiction 4 U: Are you bored? I have a cure. Read my fiction blog. This week on The Chosen somebody gets shot! In the heart! Really!