Going Postal

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Big News » Bolivia has a new president tonight and there are at least three guys who badly did not want the job. First the guy resigned, then two other congressional types were all, "dude, you gotta be kidding."

Now, today's story...

First of all, sorry about the title of the post. I couldn't resist. I'm weak.

Earlier tonight I took the written exam in what was the first of many steps in the process of becoming an employee of the United States Postal Service. That's right, Chris the Mailman. Only not really.

The test was at a massive temp agency-like place in what was probably once a shopping center at the corner of Busch and Florida Avenue. When I got there, I was surprised to see there were a good 40 or 50 people, most of whom were exactly who you'd think. In other words, three of us were white. I'm not being mean, I'm just saying. Well, I'm not trying to be mean.

We were herded from one room to the next. They had everything but an electrified cattle prod. We lined up and got signed in and headed off to the testing room. The evening had a lot to do with "hurry up and wait" as is to be expected from any governmental venture.

Hurry, go get signed in (and stand in line forever). Hurry, go get seated in the testing room (and wait around until everyone has been signed in). It was like punishment for being early. No, just being on time really. And the bubbling in of information on the answer sheet prior to the actual test-taking was another task.

Do not go ahead of the examiner. If she said fill in your last name only, by god you'd better not even comtemplate filling in your first name. Or there shall be hell to pay.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I was actually annoyed by the slowness of everything. But I know people like to bitch and moan about these things, so I figure they must also like to read about them. (That was a not-so-subtle hint to people who like to whine to, for the love of god, stop it!)

Test time at last. Among other things we were forbidden from discussing the contents of Clerical Abilities Examination 710 of the USPS. And since I want the job, I assure you I'm not saying a word. Except for that it was easy. I mean they set out to trick you, but I knew that from doing the practice pre-test last week. So I went in expecting trickery.

There were 140 questions, 20 of which I'm certain were incorrect. I can say this with certainty because in the first two sections, they don't give you enough time to answer all of the questions. So there are 18 that went unanswered. But that was good. The guy next to me had a lot more than that. Yeah, so I mean I don't really understand that.

The good news is, I believe that I passed. A 70% is all that's required. The bad news is I have to wait an unknown amount of time (could be one week, could be three) to have my beliefs confirmed.

But once that happens, I'll set up an appointment for my typing test, followed by an interview and with any luck, by late August, I'll join the ranks of the mentally unbalanced. I'm kidding. I have nothing against postal workers. Or the USPS. Or America. And I'm happy to take a job in data entry if for no other reason than the $13.45 per hour.

Okay, that's the only reason.

Do You Smell That?: I made a gas joke that doesn't make sense because I'm talking about the FX movie Oil Storm. Friends, this is a movie that will make you think. I don't mean to sound all preachy, but it's gonna be a problem whether we want to think about it or not. Oil isn't going to last forever, and nobody seems to be that worried about it. Watch this movie. FX is reairing it this weekend. Saturday at 11 PM and Sunday at 5:30 PM.