The Master Plan, Part I

That Sound You Hear? » Devil's Working Overtime by Drew Womack
Shows Covered On Roll Credits » 3
Big News » Dirt-digging folks found some neato cups and dishes from 2,000 years ago in the volcanic ash of what was once Pompeii. No joke.

Now, today's story...

Something happened tonight. Something hilarious. A story I couldn't wait to tell.

Jason, my 18-year-old brother, is quite possibly one of the nicest people on the planet. A straight-up, no-holds-barred, goodie two-shoes. He plays hockey (and could quite possibly die without it). Tonight he did something that varied slightly from that description.

Elissa, my 18-year-old friend from Virginia, loves nothing more than a good online prank. The kind where you use an instant messenger to create a total fakeout. She goes to Virginia Tech. Tonight, she wanted Jason to help her prank me.

The irony between the two of them is that their birthdays are just two days apart: Jason is August 27 and Elissa is August 25 (both 1986). Yet due to age policies in Florida around 1993, Jason repeated kindergarten. For this reason, Jason just graduated high school and Elissa just finished up her freshman year in college.

Elissa misunderstood Jason's relationship with me and apparently completely forgot the fact that, on more than one occasion, she has tried to prank Jason. Last year, she coaxed me into messing with him. But we quickly turned it around on her, giving her a dose of her own medicine. She's also mercilessly mocked Jason more than a few times. Yet tonight she thought they could suddenly be buddies.

It all started about quarter to 9:00 tonight. Elissa and Jason were talking when suddenly he announced he got in the mail today a full-ride scholarship to VT. He played this as a normal occurrence, saying he had been getting scholarships all summer long. Thrilled, Elissa began telling him all about the school and even offered to make a video to send to him.

Through this, Jason played down his love of hockey, worrying she may start to think it was a joke. At some point along the way, my screen name popped up and Elissa started chatting with me. Only it wasn't me. The whole time I had been in the living room watching a movie on the big HDTV. Jason was running back and forth between my computer and his, giving contradictory stories.

On his side, he'd say he was looking over his VT scholarship packet. On mine, he'd tell her there was no such packet in existence. On his, he was handing it to me. On mine, it never happened. This back and forth went on for some time, all the while Elissa believing Jason and I were both trying to mess with her.

That was the first one. Jason had confused her so much, she didn't know what to believe. She couldn't be sure if Jason was lying, I was lying, or we both were lying. This pranking "reality" had gotten out of hand.

Probably to chew me out, she called me on the phone. After she asked what I was talking about online, I walked to my computer and found Jason typing away. I shouted at him to remove himself.

Now, if you've been reading my blog for the last three months, you might remember Hell Hotel. In order to convey the story best, I divided it up into two separate posts on two separate days. So now that we're at the good part of this story, I'm gonna leave you hanging until tomorrow. If you want to know how the story ends (and let me preface that by saying there was a twist you probably won't see coming), you'll have to hang out another day.

Another Plug: I have to once again make mention of Roll Credits, probably a stupid move since none of you seem interested. (Scrubs is my latest addition.) Still, I think I've been doing a decent job on this site. Humor me. Or don't. It's up to you, really. I know you know.