A Bumpy Train Ride

That Sound You Hear? » One Believer by Diamond Rio
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Big News » Here's how lazy Tampa cops are. A Rainbow Warrior-loving cab driver chased down an Earnhardt-admiring bank robbery suspect. That's what is come to. Cabbies are hunting our most wanted. Very reassuring. (And I may not be a NASCAR fan, but come on, Gordon chasing Earnhardt? That's just good entertainment.)

Now, today's story...

Finally, something to write about.

Tonight I went with Jason and my dad to Cypress Gardens to see Diamond Rio in concert. It was an awesome show, but it almost wasn't worth getting there.

The concert was scheduled for 6:30 PM (that's a later story) but we left around 1 so we could stop at Avalon Heights so I could turn in my application. That's the apartment I'll be living in (I hope) come August. Gardner managed to put some clothes on for 10 minutes so we could go see him.

We left Temple Terrace, I'd say, around 2 or 2:30. We didn't make it to the park until close to 5 PM. Yeah, I know. We took 75 to I-4 bound for Lakeland. And that was a good plan, until after stopping for lunch at McDonald's, we realized we didn't have directions to the park. Oh yes, my dad accidentally forgot his Mapquest instructions.

We hoped there would be road signs, you know, those little useless green jobs that stand next to the street all day. Well, there were. Only none of them said anything about Cypress Gardens Adventure Park. We're a good ways down I-4 (practically in Orlando) when it dawns on us to call Cypress Gardens and, a novel thought, ask for directions.

Well, as it happened, we were a good 27 miles past the exit we needed to get off at. This was going to add a substantial amount of time to what should have been a not-so-long trip. Of course, just to put an ironic wrinkle in things, traffic suddenly came to a near stop as we got close to the exit we were going to use to turn around. And a bunch of morons way behind us, who weren't paying attention to the road, rear-ended a bunch of other unlucky souls. It was cool though, because there was a cop practically right next to them.

Yeah, away we go. We hit State Road 570 bound for Winter Haven, a road which, by the way, costs you more to drive than to buy a Big Mac. There were toll plazas every six feet. Well, okay, it's not like I was paying them, but a fella can complain about ridiculous things. Right? No? Okay.

Moving on. We eventually find our way to 540 which leads us to 17 (all roads, just so you know) which gets us to Cypress Gardens Boulevard. Cool, we're nearly there. Oh, wait, then comes a sign that says to turn left for Cypress Gardens. We'll later discover that the omission of "Adventure Park" on that sign would be very crucial. We must've been driving around on various roads named "Cypress Gardens" for about 20 minutes without once seeing a theme park.

Finally a lucky right turn put us right in front of the place. But I swear to you, at one point, we came upon a four-way stop wherein whichever way you went, you'd still be traveling on Cypress Gardens Road. I'll tell you what. People want to know why no one ever went to Cypress Gardens years ago. It wasn't because it sucked. It was because they couldn't find it. They gave up and went home.

Good thing we didn't, though. That concert was worth the [extended] trip. I've always wanted to see Diamond Rio in concert. Now I can cross that off my list. I'd also like to throw in that, in the spare hour we had (yes, just one), I rode a rollercoaster. Me. But don't go thinking it was some SheiKra or something. If anything, it was more like a bumpy train ride. That's the only kind of rollercoaster I'll get anywhere near.

No, you grow up.

Diamond Lineup: Here are the songs Diamond Rio performed tonight, in the order they performed them: Unbelievable; Wrinkles; Norma Jean Riley; One Believer (today's music); State of Emergency (new!); a medley of I Know How The River Feels, That's What I Get For Loving You, and Love A Little Stronger; Mirror Mirror; One More Day; Redneck Love Gone Bad (new!); Can't You Tell (new!); I Believe; Beautiful Mess; a Bluegrass medley; In God We Still Trust (new!); Meet In The Middle; How Your Loves Makes Me Feel; and for the encore, Bubba Hyde.