No More Extensive Sitting

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Big News » Snapple's feeble attempt at erecting the largest popsicle in a city square culminated in sticky streets. Yeah, the thing feel right to pieces. Way to go, PR guys! Keep up the good work.

Now, today's story...

I went to the Y today. Me. I know, that could be the whole story right there.

It was weird. I don't exercise. I sit in my chair more often than not doing things like writing in my blog. Well as a skinny-ass white guy who's recently noticed a slightly protruding belly, I feel now would be a good time to take up a hobby like cardio or something.

For a while now, my mom and Jason have been going to the YMCA here in Brandon every morning. Today I got up at daybreak to join them. It was way too early. But, hell, it might be worth it, right?

Everybody in my family has a card. They're all members. Not me though, and my quest for inactivity aside, a good reason for my not having one is that most of the year I live in Temple Terrace now to go to school. But, still being a member of the family I shouldn't have any trouble getting in to sweat a little, wouldn't you think?

We got there and I swear it was 7 AM. My mother and brother flashed cards and thought they might sneak me in. Enter Deputy Tightass, a behind-the-counter gnome who asked me to sign my life away. In the event one of their machines kills me, they want to keep their distance. I would too.

Sign here and here. And here. Here, here, and here. There, here, here, there, and once more over here. And you're done. Your potential injury or death is now no longer our problem. Happy treadmilling!

First things first. Jason needs a spotter so he can push 30 pounds in the air with his bare hands. You read that right. Midway throught the second set of ten things were going downhill. I didn't have to help him, though. After all, he also signed his life away at some point. But I did. Because homicide trials are no fun. Watch The Practice if you want proof of that. Great show.

Then to the treadmills, where I walked a damn mile but never left the same spot. That's how they get you. Of course it was hard to deny the eight televisions screens overhead. You just plug in your headphones and pick a TV. That I could learn to stand.

I walked a mile at 3.5 miles per hour. Go ahead, somebody mock me. Go ahead. They I rode a bike for two miles (again, not ever going anywhere, which is frustrating) at about 10 miles per hour. What, you haven't mocked me enough? Exercise is a novelty to me. I'm sure that will wear off.

The thing that surprised me though is that for the rest of the day, as much as I really just sort of sat around, I didn't feel the least bit sluggish as I have in the past. Get that heart pumping early in the day and suddenly nothing's stopping me.

Oh, quiet. If you are an exerciser, surely you know better than I do, and if you're not, can it. When I was younger I used to get all my exercise by playing street hockey every other day. But as I got older (and a computer) I found new hobbies that required extensive sitting.

Time to change it up a little. No more extensive sitting. I can run or ride a mile and never go anywhere, but at least I feel better afterwards. I've heard people say crap like that before, but never believed it. Guess I had to experience it.

Whenever I Want: I can't think of a greater invention for a TV viewer like myself than the digital video recorder. Crazies are trying to make TiVo a generic term, but it's actually called a DVR. Excellent quality video and I don't have a set schedule anymore. I can watch the shows I like whenever I feel like it. How great is that. Here's to the DVR. All right, I'm done now.