The Beginning Of The End

That Sound You Hear? » One More Day by Diamond Rio
Hit Count On This Blog » 1,341
Big News » It appears Katrina may eclipse Andrew in terms of lives lost and damage caused. Help out if you can.

Now, today's story...

It's been six days since I've written a real post. I am ashamed. The best way to rectify this problem is by just writing again. Wait, don't leave. It's a good story, I promise. It involves shuttles. And a woman named Bartlett who talks a lot about beer.

Yeah, I recognize that probably wasn't enough to hold my more educated readers.

Anyway. Nonsense aside, I started my senior year at USF on Monday. It's a little odd to think that at this time next year I'll be settling into a career path. (Or at the very least a job that pays the bills. God, I'm gonna have bills.)

So Monday. I was smart enough (read: lucky enough) to schedule all of my classes 11 AM and later. Living at home this semester, I figured I could live without the hassle of travelling through morning rush hour traffic. That's the good news.

The bad news is USF parking is still the disaster it's always been. (I recognize my problems, of which I have very few, are nothing when compared with the devastation suffered along the north Gulf coase this week. But let me tell my story.) I got lucky on Monday and somebody was pulling out just as I got to them.

Tuesday didn't quite fly like that. No, in fact, Tuesday was a bloody nightmare. We'll suffice to say that it's possible I walked ten miles from my car to my classroom — and obviously I was late. But if you don't find that funny, maybe the fact that I rode the USF shuttle for the first time ever will tickle you.

Three years I've been at that school. And for what? To be fair though, I have lived on campus all of those years. And housing is easily within walking distance of the main buildings where classes are held. But I had the task of meeting with a woman named Kathy about a temporary part-time job in the science labs. Don't ask.

Kathy tells me to "take the E" to the nursing school. I'm sorry, what? Oh, it's a shuttle. Well, it's a glorified bus. But the AC is nice on a 90-degree day. I accept. I rode the "E" to the Yukon, I think, before heading back to civilization. But during that ride I realized for three years I've been ignoring a valuable (free) asset. Of course it hasn't really come in handy until recently.

So with the parking dilemma I faced yesterday, I chose to park on Neptune and hitched a shuttle back to Earth. It was a nice ride. Comfortable seats and then there's the added perk of not having to dodge dangerous (read: college-age) drivers.

Not that you asked, but classes have been decent as well. I'm in a magazine design and production class with Liz wherein we, I guess, learn how to design magazines and such. The teacher's a trip but I feel a little out of place being the only television production major in the room. Everybody is journalism or public relations or advertising. But I'm fine with it. I understand uniqueness is a quality trait.

It's been an interesting start to the final year, here. The first three all seemed to run together in my head. Maybe this one will distinguish itself from the pack.

There is much more to say, but at the moment, most of it eludes me.

Until next time.

Breaking Out: In case you were wondering (and I'm well aware of the high probability that you weren't), I thought Prison Break was phenomenal. A lot of critics had their doubts, but everyone's entitled to their opinion. Even the wrong ones. Seriously, though. I thought it was very well written and the surprises promised at the end of each hour were, in my mind, worth the wait. I'm dying to see how they make the great escape.

Big. Crater. In Iceland. Yes, back to that again. Swear I'll write tomorrow. It's been too long. Way too long. That's one big crater. In Iceland. Don't fall in. 

This is another panoramic I made from two pictures I took from Edinburgh Castle in Scotland during my 2000 trip to the United Kingdom and Iceland. 

I got to meet and get an autograph from Lightning captain Dave Andreychuk two years ago outside the locker room. He's 42 and he just signed a two-year deal with my Bolts. 

Questions & Answers

That Sound You Hear? » Ocean by Hanna-McEuen
Current Meteorological Threat » Hurricane Katrina
Big News » A hilarious Dallas gas station owner posted on his price sign, instead of the actual prices, an arm, a leg, and "your first born." Who knew gas station owners were funny.

Now, today's story...

I promised one more television-related post this week. And here it is. Shield your eyes if you can't handle it.

September is around the corner and that means shows that left off in May are going to pick up very soon. Some ended in huge cliffhangers while others — did not. So here's what I remember, what I know, what I expect to happen this fall.

Last season, ABC ended up being my "most-watched" network. Basically they had more shows that I was interested in than anybody else. One being Lost.

Lost ended with a huge cliffhanger yet barely answered any of the season's questions. The finale left us wondering what was inside of the hatch that Locke and Boone found and why "the others" kidnapped Walt. We also don't know (unless you read those horrible spoilers) whether Michael, Sawyer or Jin will make it back to the island alive, their raft having been blown to bits.

From what I understand, many questions will be answered within the first three episodes. Of course it wouldn't be Lost if more questions weren't raised. The ratio of raised-questions to answered-questions on this show is extremely high. You have to have patience and trust in the writers in order to really enjoy it. Which I do. The new season premieres on Wednesday, September 21 on ABC.

Alias also ended with a head-scratcher. The man we've come to know as Michael Vaughn for the last four seasons informs that that is in fact not his real name — seconds before the car he's driving is sideswiped, leaving us to wonder for three months whether he's dead and we'll never know his true identity.

Once again, the writers assure us answers early on. We appreciate that. Season five debuts on a new night, Thursday, September 29 on ABC.

Boston Legal sort of fizzled out with ABC sort of I guess forgetting about it when Grey's Anatomy turned out to be a viewer favorite. It's yet another David E. Kelley comedy/drama — only this time he hit the target. I've been enjoying the writing of Boston Legal very much. Nobody writes anything quite like he does.

The five episodes that didn't get aired last season will open this season, making it 27 long instead of the typical 22. It also premieres on a new night, Tuesday, September 27 on ABC.

Moving away from ABC leaves me with only three more shows to mention (one for each remaining network — and not counting the two comedies I watch). First is 24 on FOX. Only it doesn't return to the schedule until next January. I'll be looking forward to it.

NCIS is the only CBS show I even consider watching (aside from the occasional CSI: Miami). I'm looking forward to the third season premiere to see how they deal with Kate's murder in the final seconds of the finale. Not only that, but this is one of the only CBS shows that has actual dialogue, and you know, human interaction. NCIS is back on Tuesday, September 20.

Last but not least is one of my personal favorites for a long time. The West Wing enters its seventh season on a new night, Sunday, September 25. This will be a real season of change considering President Bartlet's term is coming to an end. Jimmy Smits and Alan Alda are running for president to replace Martin Sheen.

Everyone's been approaching this season as though it will be the last. But I'd bet a million bucks that if there's a ratings surge when the new president is selected, season eight won't quite be mere online "fanfic." And who knows? President Hawkeye? I'd watch that.

That's all I've got for today. By the way, I'm still contemplating a television blog to write my reviews in (not that you really care), but the likelihood is it will conflict too much with my Lightning game reviews over at Delay of Game — to say nothing of school and work.

Almost forgot about those.

Happy birthday, Elissa!

Eye In The Sky: Recently I posted some cool satellite pictures I found on Google Maps. I thought I'd share a few more today, such as Tampa International Airport, Bellagio Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, Empire State Building, the London Eye, The Kremlin and Red Square, USS Yorktown air craft carrier in South Carolina (on which I have personally spent the night), and the site where the World Trade Center once stood in Manhattan.

Icelandic Week is over for now, but that doesn't mean I can't still post my UK pictures. This is Loch Ness at the ruins of Urquhart Castle. No signs of the monster but it sure was a rainy day. 

Today was another rainy day. I kind of like those. (Are you shocked the picture's not from Iceland? Me too. You'll be less shocked to find out I didn't take it here but rather in North Carolina. See?) 

Americanish

That Sound You Hear? » Change by The Warren Brothers
Days Until NHL Opening Night » 44
Big News » A European women's soccer team lost a big game against a major rival the other day because their goalie decided to take in a concert instead of minding the net. The score was 50-1. I'm taking bets on how long before said team decides she should be replaced.

Now, today's story...

I'm sure you read the title of this post thinking I'm nuts. Well I'm not. If anyone's nuts, it's Jeff Rubin. He's the self-proclaimed creator of National Punctuation Day. (Read about how to celebrate it. If you like writing, you'll probably laugh.)

I was reading about him in today's Trib. It may seem a little — what's the word I'm looking for? — crazy, but the fact is that grammar in this country is in a horrible state of disrepair. And sadly, most people just do not care.

Well I care.

Americans don't really speak English anymore as far as I'm concerned. We speak Americanish. It's a form of English that pays little to no attention to grammar, punctuation or spelling. But speaking Americanish is all right by me, as long as we don't all start writing that way.

I pride myself (with humility) on writing my blog grammatically correct, with proper punctuation and spelling. The few times when I sidestep that general rule, I am more or less trying (yet usually failing) to be funny or silly. That and I'm a bad proofreader when it comes to my own work. I usually have to have somebody else read over my work to catch my mistakes.

But aside from journalists and students, most people do not write in English anymore. For example, take a look at almost any blog here on Blogger. Most people write the way they talk. And I don't mean like the conversational style that I use to write my blog. I mean they write the way they talk.

And many of these people just shrug off their grammatical travesties by saying, "it's just a blog," meaning "merely a blog." In the four months I've been writing in this blog, I've come to a realization that this is one of the greatest tools ever invented. Afforded to every person with access to a computer (nearly every literate person on the planet) is the availability of sites like this for people to just write.

The privilege of having a blog is one many blog writers take for granted. Yes, you get to spread your opinion to the masses, but why not use the opportunity to practice using the language correctly? I take a piece of writing much more seriously if it is well-written and thought out as opposed to being something a 10-year-old might scratch out. The 10-year-old is still learning the nuance of the language.

One last thing that bugs me is people who say "that doesn't sound right" when a grammatical error is corrected by a teacher or editor. There was a time back in the late '90s when the Spice Girls sounded right to millions of people. Sounds can be deceiving. The fact is, if everyone would learn to speak and write coherently, the day may come when grammatical correctness sounds right.

But since no one cares, that day may be far off.

And with the odds highly favoring the notion that I am thoroughly unimportant to a world packed with six billion people, I am content to be ignored. In fact, I expect it. But for any ear that's listening, I encourage you to stop writing in Americanish. Speak in Americanish. IM your friends in Americanish. Please, though, for the sake of freedom or whatever gets you up in the morning, write in English.

Write in English.

Mornings On WQYK: ...will never be the same. That's how Tampa's biggest and oldest country station is touting its new morning show featuring recording artists Cledus T. Judd and Chad Brock. The singers bring a whole new dimension to radio that WQYK will be the first to pioneer. Frankly, I was curious. I caught a short segment this morning on WTVT-TV (our FOX affiliate) with Russell Rhodes who visited the new morning crew in the studio. You can watch that video here. The guys are a riot.

More Icelandic geyser action. That's some hot water, too. It is. 

More Small Screen Previews

That Sound You Hear? » Small Town by John Anderson
Current MP3 Count » 5,214
Big News » Cledus T. Judd and Chad Brock are actually doing a morning radio show on WQYK here in Tampa. I can't believe it either.

Now, today's story...

Yes, I know, another TV-related post. But it's getting to be the time of year for that and hockey. And I already have a hockey blog. Though truth be told, I've contemplated a separate blog for this. And you never know, it may happen in the future. But until that future arrives, I'm writing it here.

The other day I picked three new shows to discuss my unbiased a priori opinion of. I plan to write a real review after having actually seen them all.

I thought today I'd choose a few more. And in no particular order, they are Invasion, My Name Is Earl, E-Ring, and Commander In Chief.

First is Invasion, which premieres Wednesday, September 21 right after Lost on ABC. The only thing that attracted me really was the setting and catalyst for conflict. A major hurricane blows through Homestead, Florida. The part that made me giggle/cringe is that this storm serves as a red herring for some aliens landing on earth. Yeah.

The only reason I'm considering it over Threshold (CBS' copycat attempt at alien contact), is that ABC has been on a good luck streak with new shows. I knew I'd enjoy Lost when it debuted last year, but I had no idea it would become the popular hit it did. If Lost, Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy and even Alias are any indication, I think Invasion has a shot at being worth watching.

For a few years now, NBC has been at a loss for new comedy. Twelve years ago they struck gold with Frasier and then Friends a year later. Since then, only one comedy series has made a lasting impression on television viewers — Will & Grace. That's pitiful. Especially when Scrubs is (without a doubt) the funniest show I have ever seen.

That said, NBC is introducing one (that's right, one) new comedy this season. The thing is, from what I've heard and read, it sounds like a keeper. My Name Is Earl hits your screen Tuesday, September 20. It stars Jason Lee as a loser who comes to the realization (by way of a winning lottery ticket) that karma will bite you in the ass if you're not careful.

So he makes a list of all the people he's wronged in his life and decides to make restitution to them to quell the fire of the karmic gods. I could see how that could sustain a series, unlike Invasion. My guess is this show will have the type of comedy we're used to seeing on Scrubs (and by we, I mean all three of us who watch it).

That isn't to say the sitcom is dead, though NBC might have you believing otherwise. Their desperation lead to the creation of a series on Bravo wherein two novice writing teams write a comedy script and produce a pilot presentation for the network. Things have gotten so bad, they just ignore the writers' guild now.

The series is called Situation: Comedy and I've been following along. I think the irony of it is the drama created by one team's desperate desire to do things their way or no way. Point is, things aren't going so well for TV comedy. The only two comedies I even watch are Scrubs and Arrested Development. I also keep up with Joey if only because of its novelty spin-off nature.

Before I wrap it up here, I figured I'd at least make mention of NBC's E-Ring and ABC's Commander In Chief.

E-Ring debuts Wednesday, September 21 at the same time as Lost, so its viewership will be considerably less. It takes place inside the Pentagon. The few things it has going for it include are Jerry Bruckheimer, Dennis Hopper and Benjamin Bratt. It's going to take a little more than that. Not to mention, I've mostly been reading that more attention is paid to effects and camera angles than to the writing. I'll take a look at the premiere but I can't see sticking with it even if it doesn't get cancelled.

Commander In Chief premieres Tuesday, September 27 and follows the first female vice president and her ascension to the presidency when the big guy croaks. Without Aaron Sorkin's writing I think I might find it hard to watch another show that takes place inside the White House, but from everything I've heard the stories are about the people, not the politics. I've also heard that the writing is uneven.

I won't know anything for sure until the shows actually air. So until then.

And I promise, only one more TV post this week and then I'll get back to telling my weird stories. I swear it.

Speaking Of Telvision (Live!): In the interest of winning back ratings (did they ever have them?), NBC is going to be airing an episode of Will & Grace live. And they're considering doing the same for The West Wing. The Will & Grace live episode will be the season premiere and I guess it's more of a random stunt than John Wells' idea for The West Wing. Wells wants to do a live debate in November during sweeps between the two candidates running for the fictional presidency. Just don't screw it up. That's all I have to say.

Yet another Icelandic landscape. Think I'm running out of pictures? Think again. I got enough to last at least three more months. Ha! The joke's on me isn't it? You're never returning to my blog, are you? 

Coming To Screens Near You

That Sound You Hear? » Chances Are by Vonda Shepard & Robert Downey, Jr. (yes, you read that right)
Current Hit Count On This Blog » 1,275
Big News » Northwest Airlines mechanics are going on strike. Just so long as the Icelandair mechanics aren't doing the same. (I'm sorry, I'll stop.)

Now, today's story...

It's a sad state of affairs when I can go nearly a full week without having anything interesting to write about or having time to write about anything interesting. Indeed.

But I think the former is more my issue. On the other hand, the new television season is right around the corner. (That was the cue for you non-TV watchers to tunnel your way out of here. Sorry.)

Now, those of you who are still with me, either you're wonderful friends or you actually do like primetime television. Kudos on either. So I think I'll write my preview commentary chronologically by premiere date.

And now that I think about it, I'll discuss only the new shows in this post. We'll save returning shows for another post. Those shows I'll be discussing here will be Prison Break, Reunion and Surface. I may chat up some of the others in the future.

Anyway.

To begin, there's Prison Break, which debuts Monday, August 29 on FOX. That's just over a week from now. As I understand it, the series is about a man who is wrongly convicted and tossed into the big house. His brother Michael, an architectural engineer of sorts (or whatever), knows the ins and outs of this particular "big house" and pulls off a faux bank robbery in order to get imprisoned as well. Smarty pants.

That's all I know about it from the FOX promos, but it was the critics who reviewed the series in online articles that actually piqued my interest. Apparently, Prison Break lives up to the thriller FOX proclaims it to be. At first glance you think, once they make their big break, it's all over right? He'll be free. But people don't just escape prison, end of story. Somebody's got to come after them.

I'll be watching next Monday to see for myself if they can really pull off a decent show with such a narrow premise. I think it can be done. I don't think it will be easy.

FOX's Reunion follows the lives of six high school friends from the day they graduate until their 20-year class reunion. It premieres Thursday, September 8 after The O.C. and each episode is a new year.

Weaved throughout the series is a murder-mystery story wherein one of the buddies bites the dust and one of the others is the responsible party. It makes for an interesting story, but probably a goofy funeral scene in the pilot episode, since they can't reveal the name of the deceased (who, as I understand it, won't be known until the finale).

And while the story may seem a little far-fetched, I have hope that, like Prison Break, under the right conditions it could succeed. The problem would be meddling network canceling it before the season's over and us never knowing who was killed.

The only other series I want to mention before leaving you alone is Surface, which hits NBC for the first time on Monday, Septmber 19. At first, it looked like a generic mystery series. In seeing more promos and reading up on it a little, I'm intrigued. (I'm also a fan of Boston Legal, which Lake Bell left to take this job.)

Surface is basically the story of three people who individually discover an alien species that's been living deep beneath the "surface" of the ocean. I might point out as this time that the series was initially titled "Fathom," which I thought was more appropriate. It has a forboding connotation much like the promos NBC has been running.

Basically, these people have front-row seats to what may or may not spell the end of the world as we know it. If it's a mystery even half as good as Lost, it might just hold my attention. We'll see how it turns out.

Having said that, I think it's important to know that I have written all of this without having actually seen any of said shows. My seemingly baseless accusations are based on promotional ads I've seen on TV and others' accounts of what the shows were like. My informed opinions on each of these will be posted as soon as I've seen them.

Yeah, Yeah: I know I said I'd stop with the Iceland comments, but I felt compelled to inform you (and only you) that my Icelandic vocabulary has now reached over 230 words. How about that. If you can translate þessi, hjól, helgi, hætta, með, and bíó (and you're not a native speaker or an online dictionary cheater) I will give you — a nice, congratulatory message. Written personally by me. Customized with your name and everything. Seriously. No, not seriously. Grow up.

Hey, don't judge me. I know I haven't written in a while. I've been busy trying to learn Icelandic. And it's not like you've read the other 153 posts I've written in the last four months. Have you? That's right. Oh, this is a panoramic snapshot from the top of the cliff in the previous post. (It's two pictures put together. Oooh.) 

Yes, more Iceland. I really can't help myself. I just feel compelled to share these pictures for some reason. Don't they make you want to visit? They sure make me want to go back — soon. These cliffs are in the coastal town of Vík. I have pictures from on top of them, too. 

Here's Myrdálsjökull (jökull means glacier) in the middle of August when I was in Iceland in 2000. We had a snowball fight up there, which, for native Floridians, was odd enough in itself, I guess. Still chugging along on my Icelandic lessons. 

This is another picture at Gullfoss. It's in western Iceland between Reykjavík and Geysir. Isn't it grand? My Icelandic vocabulary reached 90 words today. Yes, I know. Go me. 

Lacking Animation Or Interest, Part II

That Sound You Hear? » I'll Take You Back by Brad Paisley
Days Until NHL Opening Night » 51
Big News » Gas prices just keep getting higher, don't they?

Now, today's story...

I apologize for delaying the conclusion to this story by a day. I wasn't around much yesterday, or today really. Without further adieu... part deux.

We continued our harrassment of Mark in hopes of eliciting a reaction worthy of airplay on ABC's America's Funniest Home Videos. After two failed attempts, Thursday's traps had to go off without a hitch, or else we'd be in trouble.

We set up the first one in the back hallway, a hallway Mark would have to travel if he ever wanted to get back to his bedroom. We tied fishing line across the hall about eight inches off the ground. That line was tied to a five-pound weight. The weight was tied to two party poppers. They make a loud sound with the string is pulled.

One of hte poppers we emptied the streamers from and refilled with powder (later realizing it should've been flour). We duct taped them to the door frame so they wouldn't budge and waited for Mark to get home from school and, well, trip the wire. The camera was in place. Mark shuffled down the hallway and barely flinched at the popping overhead and the powder dust filled air.

Zero for three. This was becoming discouraging.

We set up the next prank in time for dinner. We tied a rubber band around the spray nozzle attached to the kitchen sink. The way this works, if you're unfamiliar, is by turning on the faucet, water sprays out of the nozzle. Distance depends on water pressure.

We warned everyone else in the house to avoid using the kitchen sink (or else risk soaking yourself). When Mark finished dinner, he walked his plate to the sink. Now let me try and set the scene a little. The kitchen sink is positioned behind the island counter where my grandma sits for dinner. A person who planned ahead would've realized that Mark would move once initially sprayed, leaving the poor old lady to get rained on in the middle of her meal.

This is exactly what happened, though luckily Mark reacted quickly enough to shut off the water before flooding the house. I have to say, though, that my grandma's reaction was pretty funny.

Four bad pitches. At this point, the batter would simply be permitted to walk to the base, wouldn't he? But we needed to make one more go of it just to satisfy ourselves. The best one yet. The one sure to get a huge reaction. A horrified reaction.

Jason and I had our mom tell Mark that he'd be coming home from school alone on Friday. She gave him a house key and the rest was up to us. Everyone hid in the master bedroom but me. I hid in my grandma's room down the hallway next to Mark's room.

I was outfitted with a Scream costume and another party popper. The camera was set up at the end of the hallway. My job was to jump out and scare him as he made his way down the hallway. As you can guess, I was wildly unsuccessful.

I jumped out hollering and put a death grip on his arm all while shooting off a party popper. His reaction was similar to swatting at an irritating fly. Vapid. He was utterly without reaction.

Anyway, we later revealed to him that all of this failed stunts were recorded on tape and his vapidity will now keep us from winning the big money. It's all his fault.

All because he lacks animation or interest.

Caught On Tape: I have four of the five pranks on video for your pleasure. If you have even the slightest interest, you can watch the non-reactions materialize by clicking here.

More snapshots from the magnificent Iceland, here. This is an Icelandic keyboard. You may notice the additional letters, including Ð, Æ, Þ, and Ö. It also has € and £ symbols. Weird, huh? I found it at an internet cafe in Reykjavik. 

Lacking Animation Or Interest, Part I

That Sound You Hear? » Everything's Not Lost by Coldplay
Current MP3 Count » 5,146
Big News » An Asian fellow was recently confirmed as the world's tallest human. Checking in at 7-foot-9, Xi Shun played basketball after a career in the Army. He now lives in Mongolia and does press events and such.

Now, today's story...

Hallo, komið þér sælir?

Huh? Right?

I said "Hello, how do you do?" in the Icelandic native tongue. I've been gathering sources today to begin teaching myself the langugage, though frankly it'd be easier if I had someone who could speak it teaching me.

I think that's at the very least slightly interesting. Icelandic is an old Norse language that's been unchanged for something like five centuries. Not to mention, if I plan to one day live in Iceland, I might as well learn the language (even though most of the country is quite fluent in English). I feel like I could learn more.

Then there's Mark, age 15. He is the youngest and without a doubt most dull of my three brothers. His only distinguishing physical feature is his shaggy hairdo which, oddly enough, like a chameleon, only helps him disappear into a crowd of teenagers. Shame about that.

See, Jason and I have been watching a lot of America's Funniest Home Videos lately and watching random people collecting thousands of dollars simply for sending in funny tapes made us think. Why don't we take a shot at collecting thousands of dollars simply for sending in funny tapes?

The plan was to innovate, to do something unique. Practical jokes and music montages are some of our favorite types of videos on the show. We decided to combine the two. We'd pull a series of fast ones on a single person — Mark — to see if he'd fall for them all. We planned out five jokes on Tuesday and set our plan in motion early Wednesday morning.

Mark generally gets up at 6:30 for school. Jason and I got up at 5:30 to set a trap in the bathroom — at the door, to be exact. We'd seen it before on the show and it was a classic. We taped a sheet of plastic wrap across the door so he'd walk face first into it. We set the video camera up and waited.

Here's the thing. He walked out of his room, but the slug Mark is, it never really did any damage. He hit is face on it, regrouped, then ducked underneath and went in. Vapid, as in lacking animation or interest.

We were never gonna win the $10,000 with that. So we had to make the rest of the tricks really count. While Mark was in school, Jason and I (who have both graduated high school) planned the next one.

There are these plastic mats that you often see in offices with carpet. They provide a hard surface, making desk chairs easier to roll. On the underside are these sharp little spikes that keep the mat itself from moving around once placed on the carpet. In the den, where Mark plays his guitar every day, there is one of these.

The trick was that we turn it over so that when Mark walked in the room to turn the lights on, he'd step on it and jump around a little bit — or wince at the very least. The camera was rolling and none of those things happened. He walked in, stepped on it and got annoyed. He turned the light on, flipped the mat, and played his guitar. Zero reaction. Vapid.

We couldn't believe it. If the plastic wrap thing was a bust, this was astronomically bad. We were basically 0 for 2 and we only had three ideas left. One was to tie a tripwire in the hallway to a pair of party poppers to shock him a little.

Another was to tie a rubberband to the spray nozzle on the sink so it would spray him in the face. And the last was to have believe he was coming home from school to an empty house while I dress up in a scary costume, then jump out and scare the pants off of him.

If you want to know if any of those ideas were successful, if the vapidity subsided, you're going to have to wait until tomorrow. I feel I've written enough for tonight.

Á íslensku: Here are some phrases to know in Icelandic, as translated by Jeff Feeley. "Hallo, komið þér sælir?" means "Hi, how are you?" "Bless allir" is "good night." "Talarðu ensku?" translates to "Do you speak English?" And "Hvar er salernið?" is how you ask "Where is the bathroom?"

Icelandic Week continues here on the blog. If I'm not mistaken, this is a geyser. It's not the biggest one I saw, but it is one of the bigger ones. By the way, I've started Phase One in my return to Iceland. I'm investigating airfare. Wish me luck. 

If the opportunity presented itself, I can't say I wouldn't be interested in taking a film job in Iceland. Nevermind your laughing. I could absolutely see living there the rest of my life. You just enjoy this Icelandic snapshot. 

Yes, more Icelandic scenery. It's a geyser field with geothermally heated water. Boiling water, hence the steam. Touch it at your own risk. I haven't quite pinpointed the exact location and my memory of names of places I can't pronounce from five years ago isn't that great either. 

Mission Accomplished

That Sound You Hear? » Shine Your Light by The Mavericks
Days Until I Go Back To School » 14
Big News » Farewell Peter Jennings.

Now, today's story...

Believe it or not, I actually accomplished the few tasks I set out to do today. This is surprising if for no other reason than my plans almost always get derailed by circumstances beyond my control. Well, while circumstances wanted to have their way with me today, I decided to take control.

Or something to that effect.

The goals, as listed in no particular order, were to 1) grab breakfast on the road, 2) replace the cable modem at the Bright House office, 3) go to the bank and steal some money (from my own account), 4) go to the sheriff's office and have my fingerprints done, and 5) take advantage of CVS' three-for-eight-bucks deal on Pepsi.

As geography would have it, the cable company's office was my first stop. It's just north of 60 on Regency and it's not an incredibly large building. Just big enough to house a main office and what assume would be storage for a lot of cable television/phone/internet equipment. Repair trucks making house calls have a big area in the back.

I've been there before and while the parking lot isn't massive, it's never full. I thought I knew what to expect. That's what I get for thinking. All parking spots marked with "Customers Only" signs were taken. None for me. I drove around the building at least four or five times just looking for a place to temporarily store my car. No luck. But no hurry, either.

But the clock was inching ever closer to 10:30 and dammit I wanted a Sausage Egg & Cheese McGriddle. So since my day wasn't running on a schedule, I made a bee line for the nearest McDonald's. I walked in and ordered because in my experience, drive-thru windows call for nothing more than a headache. And I rather enjoy a clear head.

I grabbed my food inside and went back to my car. I was leaving the parking lot when it occurred to me I got bacon instead of sausage. I considered going back in and getting it replaced when I realized, first of all, I don't care. Bacon is as good as sausage in my book. Second, who says I have to park in the Bright House parking lot?

I made my way back down Regency and saw that, while there are no parking lots adjacent to the cable company, there was a great big, empty one across the street. I parked there and did a Frogger to the office. (There's not that much traffic on Regency north of the movie theaters at 11 AM anyway.)

There were a few people in line. I'd guess I was there between 10 and 15 minutes. But again, no rush. As for why I was there, let's just say it doesn't necessarily take a hurricane to screw with the power. The lights flickered Sunday afternoon and then when out. When they came back on, our cable modem did not.

I talked to a BH guy on the phone and he suggested an old-fashioned swap-out. Turns out our modem was an antique anyway and they were happy to make the trade.

If in the future you ever have the opportunity to be manhandled by a lady cop trying to fingerprint you, I highly recommend. Yeah, I think I may have wronged the woman in a previously life based solely on the way she tried to rip off my fingers. Take it easy, chief.

I'm not a criminal or anything. I needed to get fingerprinted for my new job. I guess it's a thing with federal employees. As I understand it, I should be starting my new data entry position with the post office within the next few weeks.

That went off without a hitch, other than to say I was solicited by the Army. A guy cloaked in fatigues sitting next to me in the waiting room at the police station (for reasons passing understanding) couldn't seem to help but heckle me about why I've never considered joining the military. I guess I didn't have a good enough answer because he left me his card.

I'm not good with taking orders and, you know, discipline. Best I steer clear.

On the way home I dropped by the ATM so as to be loaded with cash when making my Pepsi purchase for the month. I kind of like 36 cans for 22 cents each. It feels a lot nicer than dropping a buck in a vending machine. But I digress.

This day, compared with others this summer, was particularly productive for me, which is shocking. If you must know, it was driven by going without internet access all last night. I wasn't sure I'd be able to live through an entire day that way. (The only way I can live without the web is when I'm traveling or already in the mountains. Go figure.)

Far Away: The other day I was yammering on about those Google Maps and sharing pictures of interesting places. Well I thought of a bunch more interesting places to see from the sky. Check them out: Space shuttle launch pad; Niagara Falls; The Golden Gate Bridge; Hoover Dam; Mount Rushmore; and The Eiffel Tower. More later.

I have more Iceland pictures this week. This is Gullfoss. It's a massive series of waterfalls that produces a rainbow from almost any vantage point. The picture hardly does it justice. 

A Bird's Eye View

That Sound You Hear? » Intentional Heartache by Dwight Yoakam
Current Hit Count On This Blog » 1,155
Big News » A judge in Texas sentenced a guy (who sexually abused his daughter) to 320 hours of crocheting. Dead serious. We can only hope he ends up stabbing himself.

Now, today's story...

I came across a new (possibly new, I'd never seen it before) feature of Google just the other day. Maps. Yes, maps. But not just maps. Maps with satellite imagery.

There's something about seeing the planet from the vantage point of, well, space. Everything just seems so insignificant. And it becomes increasingly more obvious that we really are all living on the same rock.

Really though, pardon my fascination, but I can't help myself. Looking at my house and surrounding town from an angle perpendicular to that which I've become accustomed to. It's weird. And dare I say it's kind of cool

First, there's my state — should be fairly obvious. Zoom in a little to my city. If the peninsula within a peninsula didn't give it away, that's Tampa. And zoom in as close as possible and you can see my house. Who knew we had a gray roof?

Oh, and there's tons more pictures where that came from. For instance, I've been stuck on wanting to go back to Iceland for some time now. Well, Google's maps don't exactly spell out every inch of the Icelandic countryside. You'd even be hard-pressed to find the names of a given city within the Scandinavian nation.

I was able to figure all of that out as a result of my own personal ingenuity. For example, right here is the airport in Keflavik. To the east is the city itself. My guess is we came in on the south runway considering I remember seeing a lot of vegetation-free volcanic rock below before we actually hit the ground. A lot more than there is before the west runway.

Over here is an overhead image of the glacier that we visited just over four years ago today. Its name is Myrdalsjökull. If you can correctly pronounce that, give yourself ten points. It's not one of the bigger ones, but it was still just as amazing.

Unfortunately I was a little disappointed by Google when trying to locate specific points within the Icelandic capital of Reykjavik. The problem is it's just bad imagery. See for yourself. And for the record, this is the entire island in all of its glory.

But don't think I'm done. Some of the more interesting sights I found were these: The Gateway Arch in St. Louis; The Hollywood sign in California; The Statue of Liberty in New York; A London trifecta of Westminster Abbey, the House of Parliament and Big Ben; The Washington Monument; and Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino in Las Vegas.

It's just such an unusual way to look at things. I'm sure you recognized every one of those places even though you've never actually viewed them from that perspective.

If I find anything else of interest, I'll be sure to let you know. In the mean time, head on over to Google Maps if you're so inclined.

Until next time.

One Crazy Week: Catch up on this week's trades and signings in my hockey blog. Plenty of great players are switching teams this summer. Among them are Paul Kariya, Peter Forsberg, Adam Foote, Brian Leetch, Alexei Zhamnov, Ziggy Palffy, Scott Niedermayer and Nikolai Khabibulin (much to my dismay).

In February 2004, we got the chance to go wait outside the Lightning's locker room and get autographs. Here, Jason is getting ready to have his jersey signed by goalie Nikolai Khabibulin. I'm posting this picture because, as of today, Nik is now a Chicago Blackhawk. It's horrible. You can read more about it in my hockey blog. 

I want to go back to Iceland. It's been five years. That's too long. Look at that beach. I'm going back soon. 

Here's what Jason was referring to in a comment on Saturday's picture. Who knows what he did to spook that horse but my mom got lucky enough to catch the horse with her camera in mid-tantrum. 

Lost In Every Sense

That Sound You Hear? » It's All How You Look At It by Tracy Lawrence
Days Until NHL Opening Night » 65
Big News » The space dudes are going on another spacewalk, this time to repair some minor shuttle damage. That should be fun.

Now, today's story...

With the Burger King Incident of 2005 having long since past the point when I stopped understanding, I'd prefer to distance myself from it entirely. It was a silly story wherein I took a little poetic license so as to emphasize some goofy moments. There are people right now orbiting the planet, risking life and limb to repair a vehicle they need just to get home. And we can't agree to disagree?

Doesn't matter. Happily moving on.

But speaking of outer space, I was just thinking last night about some movies I really like. (Who knows why.) And I don't like many movies, mostly because the characters are so underdeveloped, it doesn't really matter to me what happens to them. But as always, there are a few exceptions.

When the characterization flies out the window, the next best thing is the story. It's got to be an intriguing story while at the same time being told well. One of my favorites was based on a Michael Crichton book called Sphere. (The reading material was naturally superior to those fancy moving pictures.)

If you never read/seen it, the story revolves around a mysterious, massive craft found at the bottom of the Pacific. And when I say massive, I mean massive. Navy Intel ages the thing about 3,000 leading to the obvious conclusion that it could not possibly be man made.

A crew is put together to investigate and find out what it is and where it came from. They make their way inside and start finding American flags and trash cans. Furthering the mystery part. They also find a funky spherical object inside. It has no doors, no openings, no seams. Yet one by one the crew members each manage to find their way in, later exiting with some frightening new abilities.

The big idea behind the story was that it was an American ship built hundreds of years in the future, think 2200s, 2300s. They roamed the universe apparently meeting up with alien beings, one of which created this Sphere that's freaking everybody out. Obviously they realized this thing was bad and thought it best to send it back in time 3,000 to the bottom of the ocean where no one would ever find it. They almost had it.

Then there's Mission To Mars, Red Planet, Frequency and other such sci-fi movies. I'm not that big into science fiction, but when they have stories that make you think that much, to me it's so worth it.

All this got me thinking about the mythology behind my textual series, The Chosen, one of my other blogs. I have some pretty weird ideas that I'd rather not say just yet so as not to spoil future chapters for those three loyal readers I have. In essence, the tag line is: "What if God isn't who we think he is?"

I know, blasphemous. But I live in America. And that's the way it is. Question everything, that's one of my philosophies. Get a little proof before making your mind up for good.

I know, enough philosophizing, I'm putting you to sleep.

Speaking of putting you to sleep, I got another one of those emails from the writers of Lost. They tell me that they've written the first few episodes of the new season and began production on July 28.

They also give episode titles and writers. The first is "Man of Science, Man of Faith" (penned by Damon Lindelof), the second is "Adrift" (by Steven Maeda and Leonard Dick), a third will be "Orientation" (as told by Javier Grillo-Marxuach and Craig Wright).

But the best news in the world is that exactly one month from Saturday, I will own the entire first year on DVD.

And that was one scatter-brained post.

Catch Yourself Up: In case you haven't read the first 18 chapters of The Chosen, they're still there waiting for you. I've archived the first 18 chapters calling them Part I. Basically, Part I was just meant to familiarize the reader with the characters. In Part II, we'll dive into the big premise. The plan is to finish off with a third part that wraps up the series.