It just seems to fit. It's a Burger King creation called a Swiss Bacon Cheeseburger, and as I understand it, you don't exactly find them on this side of the Atlantic. This particular sandwich we had to go all the way to London for. 

Fit For A King, Part II

That Sound You Hear? » Laffin' At Life by Chet Atkins
Season 2 Premiere of Lost » September 21
Big News » Some sadly underpaid doc had to poke and prod Dubya today for his annual physical. He's peachy, by the way.

Now, today's story...

Time for the rest of of the Burger King story. You're probably so ecstatic you can't stand it. But, if you haven't read the first part, now's your chance to catch up. I'll wait for you.

Ready? Okay.

My nutty buddies. Liz and Cortney. Well, they were just fuming over this french fry bungling, this injustice incurred upon them. Frightfully unhappy.

Lighten up already.

Like that could happen. I was harrassed for my mockery of the situation and quite simply put through the ringer for holding a different opinion. But life is full of varying opinions so no one's is or should be any less or more important than another's. On that I do not argue.

On the other hand it's the way in which they were raised apparently that bothers me the most. It may be a feminist thing but being of the male gender and thoroughly uneducated in the condition of a woman's role in society, I could just be talking crazy. Likely? But the way I understand it, is they inherited their aggressive natures from their mothers. That being the case, they only fueled each other's fire for revenge.

Desperately they want not to be seen or categorized as a "pushover." And not that I blame them. But in my book, feeling slighted by a fast food employee (if that doesn't have an entire connotation all its own) expresses either some inferiority issues or quite possibly competitive edge that could slice a diamond.

I certainly don't mean to belittle my friends as I don't believe that they are wrong. Perhaps misguided, but as stated previously, everyone is entitled to an opinion. They are two of the smartest people I know leading me to wonder why they were so upset by this, keeping in mind they lost nothing in monetary value. Ego, really, if anything.

Throughout lunch I begged them not to go through with a plan that I can only compare to an 8-year-old tattling to mommy on her little brother for picking his nose. Dare I say that at the table, though. My life would've been stripped from me so fast I wouldn't know what happened. The blog feels safer. There's that cyber distance.

They were not to be talked down, however, as once they emptied their trays it was off to see mommy— er, the manager. Check that, assistant manager. Who couldn't have looked more bored. Truthfully, had I been him (and God save me I'll never don a BK button-up), I would have been cracking up on the inside.

I'm not saying FFG wasn't rude, but in the scheme of things, who really cares? To be a member of a society where people are at peace, you have to be able to lighten up and not take yourself so seriously. FFG may not be Fulbright scholar, but she should be permitted to take the edge off a little.

I don't know her personally. And while I'm not one to speculate, let's just say for argument's sake she was having a bad day. To lighten the mood, to lighten the load of her and those around her, she cracked a joke. She's no Jerry Seinfeld, but she giggled and her co-worker giggled. Mood lightened.

And don't be misled. It was not a joke at the expense of Cortney or Liz. They just chose to see it that way because they felt they had been slighted (I'm still trying to wrap my head around that part too). It was a decent girl with a crappy job trying to get by whose only mistake was allowing her over-zealous customers to hear her remarks.

Anyway, having said my peace for tonight, I'd like to address one more insignificant issue. First, read Cortney's post on this topic. Now let me ask this, and I may be echoing Jason's comment, but is it really now considered "creepy" to be on time to a scheduled lunch? Should I not have sat down? Should I have stood? Should I have stood outside to wait an unknown amount of time? Should I have instead been late?

Here's something. If anything, I find it more "creepy" (even though "unusual" is a more appropriate term) that Liz and Cortney both walked in the door at the same time even though they drove in separate cars.

Ponder that one.

For a final thought, anyone who sided with Liz and Cortney on this (and I'm not faulting you) and I suggest this to them too, you need to laugh at life more. I'm no shrink, but for anybody whose nose gets bent out of shape over an unsurprisingly dull-witted fast food jockey's flub, you really need to inject a little more enjoyment into your life.

If you can honestly tell me I'm wrong, I'd be happy to hear a good argument.

Here's A Quarter: In case you care, and even though it's just as trivial as a BK fry-flinger making a funny, I passed my typing test today for the United States Postal Service. I topped the recommended seven-lines-per-minute benchmark. Actually I doubled it. Interview is next month and a month after that I start training. Woo. Hoo. Stop it.

It's a rare photograph of me. Even more rare is that I'm on a horse. That was when I was in North Carolina four years ago. I haven't ridden a horse since then. Not for any particular reason or anything. 

Fit For A King, Part I

That Sound You Hear? » Come Back by The Warren Brothers
Days Until 2005 NHL Entry Draft » 1
Big News » Astronomers think they've found proof of a possible tenth planet in our solar system. It's bigger than Pluto. So it's at least the size of a dime.

Now, today's story...

One of the things I love about hanging out with Liz and Cortney is their uncanny ability to turn a silly situation into an acrimonious one. If nothing else, it's the entertainment value.

The three of us decided that, since we hadn't gotten together since bowling, Friday would be a good day for lunch. At Burger King. Mind you, this is no more than a day after I watched Super Size Me for the sixth time.

Obviously that gives you a clue I didn't choose the destination, nor did I object. I was in enough trouble as it was what with my disagreeable nature and all. Ask them. So there we were. At Burger King.

They wanted to try these new chicken fries. Or something. Personally, I'm partial to the Tendercrisp when faced with a fast food decision.

I realize at this point I haven't done much to prepare you. But let me just preface the rest of this post by saying that I did nothing more than play the part of the reluctant observer. Making my view hopefully that much more objective. We'll see what happens.

I ordered first because, well, you know Liz and Cortney. And if you don't you can just pretend. Even though they knew exactly what they wanted (the aforementioned chicken fries), they still needed extra time to — I don't know. Doesn't really matter.

The girl at the counter took my order and I took my cup and poured a drink. Then back to the counter to wait on my food. It's ready and I remember I need ketchup, only it's gonna be a minute because this girl is a little tied up with Cortney and Liz's orders.

First thing, she asks them if they minded their orders on the same tray. Obviously they were together and this seems simple enough to understand since the tables in the restaurant aren't exactly large. Ironic, since you'd figure The BK wants to squeeze in as many oversized individuals as possible. (Try not to take offense to the retarded things I write.)

The point of the previous paragraph wherein I got a little off track was that neither of them spoke up. They simply nodded/did nothing in agreement with French Fry Girl's idea.

But FFG isn't exactly a regular on the figure skating circuit so, naturally, her axle needs a little work. As she turned, one of the two cups of fries tipped over on the tray spilling onto the floor. Oops. No big deal. She grabbed a new cup of fries, put it on the tray then added more fries to the tipped cup — more total fries than any two humans could safely eat.

It was at that point I noticed the grimace on Liz's face. And we're off to the races. Cortney and Liz head out to find a table while I ask FFG for some ketchup. She handed me about two dozen so left about 20 on the counter. Who needs 24 ketchup packets for a medium french fry? I'd be shocked to discover there were 24 fries in that cup. No complaints, just saying.

While I sifted through the sea of ketchup packets, FFG laughs to her friend, "It was either those or the ones on the floor," obviously having noticed Liz's less-than-pleased expression. To myself I laughed at her joke. Who wouldn't? It was funny. It sounded like something I'd say. (Not to imply that I think I'm funny or anything.)

At that point I walked back to the table to find that Liz and Cortney steaming. Apparently, French Fry Girl had really pushed some buttons. But if you want to know about that, consult tomorrow's post. I feel I've done enough typing for one night.

And you've done enough reading.

Slowly But Surely: Remember that Post Office job I'm pretty sure I've been talking about for almost three months now? Phase II finally goes forward tomorrow. The typing test. It should be a breeze, much like the written exam. And damn if it isn't right smack in the middle of the 2005 NHL Draft. More on that in the hockey blog.

People used to be able to drive under the waterfall on that little road back there. Then the ledge broke off and fell on the road (sorry to disappoint, it didn't hit anyone). It's in North Carolina on the way to the cabin. 

Milling Around

That Sound You Hear? » Snow In July by Garth Brooks as... Chris Gaines (anyone else remember that?)
Current Hit Count On This Blog » 1,050
Big News » The shuttle finally went up today!

Now, today's story...

I haven't written in a few days, so I feel I have a duty to figure out something tonight. That said, I got nothing. But why should that stop me?

So I'll use a comment on my previous post as a jumping off point. Elissa asked, this afternoon, two questions.

I have 2 questions for you. 1) Where is Mabry Mill because I seem to remember having heard of it? 2)Did you snap your picture from the sign, thus having a picture like everyone else or is yours unique?

First, I want to commend her on a proper use of the word "thus." It's hard to find folks with such a gift.

Now to answer the first question, Mabry Mill can be found along the Blue Ridge Parkway in your home state of Virginia. Your second question, however, is troublesome in that I was being my usual sarcastic self when commenting on a sign directing lost tourists where to stand and how to point their camera.

There is no sign. Or if there is, I have no actual recollection of it. To further my joke, though, there is this web site (among others) featuring photographs, from the same vantage point as mine. This also happens to be the first site that comes up when you Google Mabry Mill.

I don't really remember much of the place, but its one of the hot spots my grandparents hit whenever they're up in North Carolina with me, my brothers, or cousins.

I hope this nonsense has been thoroughly informative. And if it hasn't, then all I can offer you is the date of the new NHL's opening night: October 5, 2005.

Objection! Relevance?

Sorry, I watched too many episodes of The Practice today. Great show. Even better is Boston Legal. And that segues into the second season premiere date which ABC just released today. September 27. Save the date. Or don't.

Speaking of which. Lost comes back September 21. And Alias on September 29.

But I digress. The other thing I wanted to mention tonight was the City of Tampa's decision to shout its professional athletic success from the rooftops — or road signs at the very least.

Mayor Pam Iorio unveiled the new signs today that read "Welcome To Tampa: City of Champions." Underneath it lists the Super Bowl, Arena Bowl, and of course the Stanley Cup among our town's sports titles.

Our local FOX affiliate, WTVT, aired this segment on the news this evening about the new signs.

Speaking of Video: I also happen to have the promo that Sun Sports has been airing to advertise the new season of my defending Stanley Cup champions. You can watch that by clicking here.

This here was one of the multitude of stops made as part of my 1998 road trip up the east coast. It's Mabry Mill. And it is a tourist hotspot. If I remember right, there's even a sign telling you where to take your photo so without going into the gift shop, every single visitor can have the same picture. How original. 

Big Ben and the London Eye. This is one of the photos I took when I was in the UK back in 2000. Turns out I have more than I thought. Like you care. 

This is a shot from the creek on the North Carolina property. I set the camera on a rock. Obviously. Go read about hockey today! It is so back, baby! 

Gearing Up Again

That Sound You Hear? » Dream Big by Ryan Shupe & The RubberBand
Days Until 2005 NHL Entry Draft » 9
Big News » Yesterday, wannabe terrorists with brains smaller than pecans tried to set off more bombs in London's transit system. And when I say "tried," I mean attempted and failed. Seriously, how addled do you have to be to build a bomb that doesn't explode?

Now, today's story...

With the NHL Players' Association having completed the formality of ratifying the new Collective Bargaining Agreement, it's finally starting to feel like hockey is really coming back.

It feels like it's been forever. The only reason I can remember the date of the last hockey game I went to is that my team was trapsing around with the Stanley Cup at the end of it. (FYI: It was Monday, June 7, 2004.)

But now the players have agreed on the CBA and hockey can get back to normal. Of course it won't exactly be "normal." From everything I've read the CBA involves a lot of rule changes, not the least of which is the very real possibility that there may never be another tie game again due to the insertion of shootouts into even games.

There's that and a bunch more. I understand the league will be announcing some/most/all of those changes tomorrow afternoon during the Draft Lottery. Speaking of which, more evidence that we're getting back on track. Since ESPN is throwing a hissy over last year's NHL work stoppage they won't be airing the event. That said, NHL.com will be streaming it live (notice the carefully placed links in those last two sentences).

I'll be watching it for sure. And as soon as it is over, I'll be writing up my first official blog post. I call it "official" because if you go there now, there's already one post. It's a short write-up about the point of the site and, well, an explanation of the title. You'll see what I mean.

Anyway, it looks like it's really gonna happen. It's pretty exciting knowing that within the next three months I'll get to see the Lightning raise their first Stanley Cup Championship banner to the rafters. (Yes, I said "first.")

It all starts tomorrow. In my head, the Draft Lottery will be the official end of that horrible lockout and the official beginning of the "new" NHL and the 2005-06 season.

Next Saturday is the draft. It is also (if you're that interested in my life) the day of my USPS typing exam. Yeah, that job I've been trying to get for months now. Turns out the post office is just as slow as you think they are. Maybe slower.

Yet I digress. The point is as soon as the draft is over, I imagine players are going to be changing teams like mad. With a year of no hockey, contracts all over the league have been screwed up and there will be a ton of free agents. But I have no doubt the Lightning will get their top Stanley Cup performers back.

Then when September rolls around, it'll be training camp time. I can't wait.

RinkWorks SKL: That is the title of my new hockey blog to be launched tomorrow (though technically it's available for your reading pleasure at this very moment). RinkWorks SKL. I explain it in the first post. So go read it.

My Bolts are coming back! My new hockey blog launches tomorrow after the NHL Draft Lottery. Until then... 

The Master Plan, Part II

That Sound You Hear? » One Moment More by Mindy Smith
Current MP3 Count » 5,106
Big News » Dubya made the first Supreme Court nomination in 11 years. His choice was Judge John Roberts.

Now, today's story...

I see you managed to hold out on getting the second part of that prank story. That said, if you haven't read yesterday's post, go back and do it now. It will make today's story that much funnier.

We were just at the part where I ran back into the room and forced Jason away from my computer. Seems he'd been IMing Elissa, pretending to be me. I could see why she believed him. Reading through it, it sure did sound like me.

Like I said, Elissa had called my cell phone. The connection was staticy so I wasn't sure what she heard, though I'm sure she heard me removing Jason. We talked for a couple of minutes, I, of course, completely confused. Then we lost the connection altogether.

In the time before she called back, Jason filled me in on everything he had done, start to finish. It seems Liz (of all people) was in a prankster mood the other day and had suggested to Elissa that messing with me might be fun. But since I wasn't around, Liz, like a mature individual, moved on. Elissa pressed on with pranking me, though, by enlisting Jason's help.

Jason proceded to pretend to go along with Elissa's plan, meanwhile coming up with ideas in his own mind for getting her back. But you would assume that after confusing her so much that she couldn't tell who was telling the truth (with regard the faux VT scholarship), enough was enough.

But not for us. Getting her once wasn't a grand enough gesture. This Queen of Pranking had to be stopped. We got her a second time during the telephone conversation wherein I pretended not to know what had happened. And that leads us to the third time we got her — right now. I am writing this blog to let her know that I was a co-conspirator the entire time — in the room every step of the way. Phony phone call and everything.

Jason and I should write a book called "How To Prank A Prankster." Don't misunderstand, we aren't aggressive pranksters. We only mess with other people in defense of our own honor. And we can't claim to be the best since doing so would just be daring someone to try and prank us, but let's face it, that was a job well done.

Chances are good that Elissa won't be making the same mistake in the future. Hopefully we've taught you your lesson. Her biggest complaint about this whole thing is what cracked me up the most. Under the title heading "Honor Among Thieves," Elissa thought it unthinkable that Jason (her perceived co-conspirator) could betray her so mercilessly. Indeed, she must have forgotten all the times she pranked and mocked him in the past.

It was our master plan to outprank the biggest prankster we knew. And it was very well executed. We had her every step of the way.

And, Elissa, while you might take offense to all of this, never forget that you brought it all on yourself.

Have a terrific day.

Nameless: Still at a loss for a good title for my hockey blog, here. I still have two days. But right now I'm leaning on "On The Fly" as a backup. Let me know what you think if you aren't too busy. Yes, you!

Look, more flowery pictures from North Carolina. Check out those crack-of-dawn dew drops. Just wait until you read Part II of The Master Plan tomorrow. It will crack you up. 

The Master Plan, Part I

That Sound You Hear? » Devil's Working Overtime by Drew Womack
Shows Covered On Roll Credits » 3
Big News » Dirt-digging folks found some neato cups and dishes from 2,000 years ago in the volcanic ash of what was once Pompeii. No joke.

Now, today's story...

Something happened tonight. Something hilarious. A story I couldn't wait to tell.

Jason, my 18-year-old brother, is quite possibly one of the nicest people on the planet. A straight-up, no-holds-barred, goodie two-shoes. He plays hockey (and could quite possibly die without it). Tonight he did something that varied slightly from that description.

Elissa, my 18-year-old friend from Virginia, loves nothing more than a good online prank. The kind where you use an instant messenger to create a total fakeout. She goes to Virginia Tech. Tonight, she wanted Jason to help her prank me.

The irony between the two of them is that their birthdays are just two days apart: Jason is August 27 and Elissa is August 25 (both 1986). Yet due to age policies in Florida around 1993, Jason repeated kindergarten. For this reason, Jason just graduated high school and Elissa just finished up her freshman year in college.

Elissa misunderstood Jason's relationship with me and apparently completely forgot the fact that, on more than one occasion, she has tried to prank Jason. Last year, she coaxed me into messing with him. But we quickly turned it around on her, giving her a dose of her own medicine. She's also mercilessly mocked Jason more than a few times. Yet tonight she thought they could suddenly be buddies.

It all started about quarter to 9:00 tonight. Elissa and Jason were talking when suddenly he announced he got in the mail today a full-ride scholarship to VT. He played this as a normal occurrence, saying he had been getting scholarships all summer long. Thrilled, Elissa began telling him all about the school and even offered to make a video to send to him.

Through this, Jason played down his love of hockey, worrying she may start to think it was a joke. At some point along the way, my screen name popped up and Elissa started chatting with me. Only it wasn't me. The whole time I had been in the living room watching a movie on the big HDTV. Jason was running back and forth between my computer and his, giving contradictory stories.

On his side, he'd say he was looking over his VT scholarship packet. On mine, he'd tell her there was no such packet in existence. On his, he was handing it to me. On mine, it never happened. This back and forth went on for some time, all the while Elissa believing Jason and I were both trying to mess with her.

That was the first one. Jason had confused her so much, she didn't know what to believe. She couldn't be sure if Jason was lying, I was lying, or we both were lying. This pranking "reality" had gotten out of hand.

Probably to chew me out, she called me on the phone. After she asked what I was talking about online, I walked to my computer and found Jason typing away. I shouted at him to remove himself.

Now, if you've been reading my blog for the last three months, you might remember Hell Hotel. In order to convey the story best, I divided it up into two separate posts on two separate days. So now that we're at the good part of this story, I'm gonna leave you hanging until tomorrow. If you want to know how the story ends (and let me preface that by saying there was a twist you probably won't see coming), you'll have to hang out another day.

Another Plug: I have to once again make mention of Roll Credits, probably a stupid move since none of you seem interested. (Scrubs is my latest addition.) Still, I think I've been doing a decent job on this site. Humor me. Or don't. It's up to you, really. I know you know.

Wondering what that is? It's all explained in tonight's post. Read below. 

She Was A Killer

That Sound You Hear? » Go Home by Steve Holy
Current Hit Count On This Blog » 1,007 (finally cracked a thousand)
Big News » The new Harry Potter book is out. Or hadn't you already heard? Yeah, you probably have yours already.

Now, today's story...

All right, so depending on how you look at it, this is either a really funny story or really pathetic story. You can be the judge. And if it's the latter, I don't need to know about it.

Ironically, just last Tuesday I happened to mention my old LEGO interest/hobby/habit/crutch in a post about NASA and the space program. This is ironic because last night Jason and Mark (my brothers, sadly) unearthed two bins worth of old LEGOs.

Why did they do this? To compete against each other in Robot Wars of the LEGO variety. Why did they do this? Even God doesn't know. But they began building these LEGO vehicles to ram into one another. Yes, for real.

Mark built a small, intricate little booger he called The Cannon-mobile. Why The Cannon-mobile? Because it looked like a cannon, the front part serving as a battering ram. Unfortunately I don't have pictures of it because before I thought of it, Jason's Brick destroyed it. Yes, in Brick vs. Cannon-mobile, Brick was king.

Well I had no intention of getting in on this, thank you. See, I couldn't understand how anyone could waste hours of their day away designing a LEGOmobile only to slam it into another one. This is fun? I guess.

They sucked me in. At first I just wanted to watch them build. Then I started having ideas and tossing them random suggestions. But they wouldn't listen. So I decided to put my ideas to my own use. But it was no use.

I was impressed by the explosions of LEGO blocks all over the room. You know how we Americans just love violence. We love it to death. Take a look at any movie made in the last 10 years. But I digress. I decided to build a vehicle, that when facing the Brick, would explode into more pieces than a suicide bomber. That wasn't funny.

I started construction on the Explodomobile promptly after dinner. I worked on it anywhere from 15 to 90 minutes (you lose track of time doing these things). It was perfect, complete with a little red-headed LEGO girl inside (we'll call her Liz) and a white stallion strapped to the top. I used that skinny balloon because the rule was you could use anything that was in the LEGO box. Well, I don't why it was there, but it damn sure was. It held the horse on very nicely.

I showed it off for a while and had it pose for portraits. Then came the moment of truth. Matt demanded I play him first to prove myself. I had been telling everyone I built it to explode. But the secret truth was I built it to be the best. And damned if it didn't blow Matt's crappy little thing away. Expolodmobile won her first match. And last.

Yeah, she took some pretty good damage that I was unable to repair. End of story.

But it was a good run though. I have lots of pictures. So you never know, I may rebuild her one day and fight her once again. This time, against the Brick. Just check out those pictures. She was a killer.

Witness For Yourself: I videotaped some of tonight's nonsense. If you make the questionable decision to watch, you'll see amateur-designed LEGO cars exploding as they are rammed together. It's a complete waste of time, but if it doesn't make you laugh, you are a soul-less thug. As soon as I have it finished, you'll be able to click here to download and watch it (if you must).

This is a picture of our property in North Carolina. You may be asking yourself why the cabin's not in the picture. That's easy. The cabin was behind me when I shot the picture. Good thinking. 

North Carolina. 2001. Four years later it's all overgrown because no one mows down there anymore. But we used to hang out down there all the time. And in case you were wondering, that is some ice cold water. 

Life Is Worth Living

That Sound You Hear? » Hand Of Fate by Sons Of The Desert
Days Until 2005 NHL Entry Draft » 16
Big News » Now nobody is sure just when the shuttle will go up. Wait, that's not news. Damn.

Now, today's story...

It has been killing me that it's taken so long to get to writing about the day of glory that was Wednesday. It's the return of hockey, after 10 long months, during which I was sure I'd die.

Obviously I didn't, but it wasn't for lack of trying.

So, while it's not yet official, the NHL is coming back. Next Thursday the draft lottery will be held. Everybody has a pretty even chance this year since nobody won the Stanley Cup in 2005. But the likelihood of the Lightning getting in the Top 10 is very poor. The 2005 NHL Entry Draft itself will be held on July 30.

I can feel it now. Hockey is coming back.

If Tampa GM Jay Feaster thought building a Cup winner was a challenge, how about keeping one together in the new NHL? The word is ownership wants to keep the finances toward the middle of the cap range, but Feaster remains hopeful he can return the big pieces, Vincent Lecavalier, league MVP Martin St. Louis and defensive star Dan Boyle. Netminder Nikolai Khabibulin seems to have found a home in Tampa. Although he's an unrestricted free agent, he is likely to sign for less to stay with the Bolts. Opponents hoping Tampa Bay is flash in the pan are in for a disappointment. Look for this team to emerge from the lockout darkness pretty much in tact and ready for a solid championship defense. Even creaky, ageless Dave Andreychuk could return for the Cup defense at age 42.

That's how ESPN feels about the Lightning in the upcoming season. I feel the same.

This is pretty exciting. I've been a Lightning fan for 13 years now (that's as long as they've been around) and seeing them win the Stanley Cup (a feat I never imagined I'd see in my lifetime) only to have the NHL go on hiatus right afterwards, you can imagine my paranoia: Tampa Bay winning the Stanley Cup actually killed hockey.

But we all know that's not true. And like the smart folks at ESPN said, we're not going anywhere. They've spent years creating a team that could compete, a team that won the Cup, no less. Even if we lose a few guys here and there, the sense of who this team is will still be intact.

I heard a sports reporter on TV joke about how the NHL might have trouble getting fans to come back after a fiasco like this that caused the cancellation of an entire season. She said that it's like Tampa Bay will have very little trouble putting asses in seats considering the last time those guys were on the ice they were carrying around a big silver trophy with some pretty impressive names engraved on it.

I'm with her.

So there it is, life is once again worth living. If for no other reason than the return of hockey. I wanted to insert "triumphant" but that remains to be seen. Needless to say, I'll be there on opening night at the Ice Palace (screw the "Forum") when the Bolts raise their first (of what will be many) championship banners.

The Puck Drops: I'm still thinking up a name for my new hockey blog. But rest assured I'll have it by July 21 for that is the day of the first official NHL event of the 2005 season. The draft lottery will be held and I will be right there on the new blog to report on it (in my own special way).

Had to post another hockey picture since I'm getting ready to write about hockey. I took this back in '99 at that Lightning-Isles game. 

300 AND DONE!

Hockey Is Back!

I'm sure I'll be writing all about it later. But until then, just know this: after 301 days in lockout, the NHL and the NHLPA finally saw eye to eye on the new Collective Bargaining Agreement, and pending an all but certain ratification next week, come October, professional hockey will be returning to an arena near you!

This is the best day ever!

Ever!

Okay, well it can't hold a candle to the day the Lightning won the Cup, but dammit hockey is coming back!

Celebrate it!

It's What's Next

That Sound You Hear? » World On Fire by Sarah McLachlan & Robbie Robertson (Promotional Theme for TNT's "Into The West")
Current Hit Count On This Blog » 980
Big News » Missouri cops are looking into the possibility that they may have carried out the death penalty on an innocent dude. Ten years ago. Gee, seems a little late now.

Now, today's story...

As long as everything goes as planned tomorrow, there's no good reason why the first space shuttle liftoff in almost two-and-a-half years shouldn't take place tomorrow around 4 P.M.

This is good news because for a while it has seemed like the universe has been mocking me. Not literally, of course. But consider that not mere months after my team, my Tampa Bay Lightning, actually won the Stanley Cup, hockey went into extended hiatus.

"We'll be back, but we don't know quite when. And, yes, we know we don't have a whole lot of fans south of the border of the Great White North, but go ahead and hang in there anyway, guys."

By the way, still no word on the return of the hockey season.

Then there's Alias. Finally a good television show comes along in 2001, right? Only, no, wait. After two years, it starts circling the drain. Two good years followed by two bad years (I'd say so-so if I weren't exaggerating) followed by the final year. That's right. According to anonymous sources inside ABC and, well, common sense, 2006 will spell the end of Alias.

I guess the point of my whining about all of that there you just read has to deal with the space program in the United States — NASA to be more specific.

There was a time, back when I was about three feet tall, when I wanted to become an astronaut. I'd seen the video on the news of those guys floating around in their tin can. And pictures of Earth from about a million miles away.

I'm not even ashamed to say that (during my LEGO phase) I had a kit with which I could actually built a space shuttle. (I still have the LEGO man with the astronaut helmet.)

Anyhow, suffice to say that when I learned what goes into becoming an astronaut, the fascination dissolved pretty quickly. It's not that I'm lazy (which I am), but that I found things that were of more interest to me.

That said, I still read up on every space shuttle mission because it's such an unusual thing. Leaving the planet. Come on. I love those movies too. Apollo 13. Red Planet. Mission To Mars was my favorite because of the storyline.

I've always figured that one day, if I ever get to be a big television producer, I'll write a show about astronauts and aliens. Aliens who actually created humans and put them on Earth. Would you watch that?

I got excited a few years ago when ABC announced a show called Astronauts during pilot season. It never made it past the pilot though. However, since they did film the two-hour show there's still a chance ABC might one day air it as a movie. Problem is, in the past few years, Americans haven't been to crazy about space travel.

Okay, so now I'll tie all of the aforementioned nonsense together by saying how glad I am to see we're finally going back into space. It's part of human evolution. We've conquered the planet. Now it's time to move on to what's next.

Keep Rolling: You know my new web site, Roll Credits, has only been up a few days, but I'm shocked to discover that I have had no visitors. (And by "shocked," I of course mean not surprised even a little bit.) What's with you people? Just go look at it. It won't waste that much of your time. I swear. Okay, do what you want. Clearly, you're going to anyway.

P.S.: Comment here to let me know what you think of it. Okay?

We're all in need of a little more hockey lately. This is a game between the Lightning and Islanders from several years ago. I know this because 1) they're nosebleed seats and we don't sit way up there anymore, and 2) the arena was still called the Ice Palace. Go Bolts! 

Okay, fine, I admit it. The guilt is getting to me. I put the leaf on the rock, all right? It took about 10 seconds for the water come up over the rock and I never saw the leaf again. Oh, and this is a flower of some sort. 

I came across a crop of pictures I took on a 2001 trip to North Carolina. Here is the first of many. By the way, I didn't set that up. That leaf was so sitting right there. No, really! 

Until That First Blackout

That Sound You Hear? » Have You Ever Seen The Rain? by CCR
Days of NHL Lockout » 296
Big News » A United States Circuit Court judge actually sentenced a reporter to four months in prison for not divulging the name of a source. How do brain-dead people like that ever get appointed to the federal bench? It's remarkable, really.

Now, today's story...

I woke this morning, like most people around here, to the sound of pouring rain outside. This wasn't totally unexpected. Hurricanes do tend to move at a snail's pace and it's not like Floridians don't have the Weather Channel on instant recall. Which we do.

I showered and was in the process of shaving when Dennis, of Category 3 strength, cut out the lights on me. If you've never tried it, shaving in the dark is tricky. Shortly thereafter, I was in the kitchen eating by the very cloud-dimmed sunlight coming through the window when it hit me.

Every year when May comes around all the local TV stations turn over the reigns to their respective meteorologists who pound away: "This could be the worst hurricane season yet." And everybody just sorta nods along because, you know, we tend to forget. I mean honestly, the last storm was at least six months ago.

Then June 1 knocks on the door and politely informs us that Hurricane Season has officially begun. But with clear tropics, you could give a crap. Right?

Which leads me to my prior revelation. It's not until that first blackout that you take a little notice. Hurricane Season is here. And for the next six months, you'll flinch every time you hear a weather man come on the television. Last year made everyone a little tense. Four massive balls of wind and rain can do that.

That said, we were powerless today for only about 20 minutes at my house. It wasn't bad at all. Matter of fact, it was about 19 minutes after the power initially went out that we all decided to pass the time by playing a poker in the dark. I swear that just as the first card was dealt every light came back on. We played anyway, but how's that for irony?

Anyway, without wanting to dwell on it, I just thought I'd get it on record. I see it now. Hurricane Season 2005 is upon us.

Oh, and on a side note you folks at APC, manufacturer of my battery back-up, I'll have you know that my battery, which is supposed to last a good 30 minutes, died in about five. I'm extremely disappointed.

That's right, you heard me. Extremely.

Good News: Word on the street is the NHL Lockout could be drawing to an end and we just may have a season come October. Of course neither the NHL nor NHLPA will stipulate to that. They'd like to drag it out a little longer. Just a little bit longer.

Hurricane Dennis is rolling through. More to come. 

Super Mario Convict

That Sound You Hear? » The Least You Can Do by Phil Collins
Current Meteorological Threat » Hurricane Dennis
Big News » The Dennis The Menace jokes make themselves.

Now, today's story...

It was around this time last year that, through my youngest brother Mark (a video game junkie), I rediscovered the glory of the little Italian plumber that Nintendo invented.

It was the the N64 version of Super Mario, the proper title of which eludes me at the moment. But it made me recall the simple pleasure of guiding the red overall-clad fellow through a series of outlandish worlds in search of big yellow stars.

Now, I wasn't good at it or anything, but I could hold my own. It was fun. I hijacked the Nintendo 64 for a few weeks while I recaptured that feeling. And then it got old, as do most things when overkill sets in.

I guess it was last Christmas that Mark got a new game system. I call it the Purple XBox. He gently corrects me, calling it a Gamecube. What do I know? There are so many damn things. How's a person to keep track? (Obviously, I'm not a video game person — hold your tongue, Brett.)

That said, I recently got the urge again after hearing Mark (talking to someone else) mention a new version of Mario for the Purple XBox. Well, by "new" I of course mean "old" but I'd never heard of it. So I asked him to teach me this game, evidently called Super Mario Sunshine. Don't ask.

Well, as is typical of the Mario series, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to collect a bunch of crap in order to save the Princess. Understood. Well, with the N64 Mario, it was simple. You walk into a picture frame and on the screen it gives you a hint as to where to find the stars you're looking for.

Ah, yes, no such luck with Sunshine. The purpose here is to collect "shinesprites" (a word Jason and Mark both seriously detest) and restore power to the Isle of Delfino. Sure. Here's the catch. The way to find these shinesprites is by essentially cleaning. Yes, cleaning. At the start of the game, you're outfitted with a water pump and your job is to spray down areas covered in a "paint-like substance."

I don't know about you, but I have to ask since when did Mario the plumber become a maid? Clean up your own crap. Leave Mario to his vacation. Only the problem is, as the game's plot goes, Mario has been incarcerated and sentenced to probation, or let's just say it: community service. His striking resemblance to the ninny who's been defacing the island is what did him in. They should've called the game Super Mario Convict.

So, record in tow, I started playing and collected the first two or three shinesprites before realizing how pointless this game is. And what I mean by that is I realized I didn't know how to find the next one. I guess there's a trick to it (there must be), but I haven't figured it out. Chances are I'll give it another shot some time in the future, but for now I'm just lost.

It wasn't the cleaning up of paint that bothered me so much (in fact, I'm sure there's a mother somewhere trying to get her kid to play out in real life what he does in the video game), but rather the fact that there were no discernible directions to guide me.

Until we meet again. Ciao.

Roll Credits: I decided to launch my new web site a day early. Roll Credits is now open for business. Only there will be no business going on. Go have a look for yourself.

This is a postcard I bought when I was in London five years ago. I thought it was appropriate after what happened today. 

Wading Through It

That Sound You Hear? » In God We Still Trust by Diamond Rio
Current MP3 Count » 5,093
Big News » A guy who died last week had a most unusual wake. Per his family's arrangements, James Henry Smith's body was placed in a recliner facing a television set looping memorable Pittsburgh Steelers highlights. I think this goes a little past the definition of "fan." No lie.

Now, today's story...

I owe to you good people a good story, for it's been days since I've written anything of substance in this space. Then there's the minor issue of blogger's block. But fear not, I will wade through it. Nothing can hold me back.

Not even having nothing to write about.

Nothing.

So.

Weather's good. It's been good. Hurricane Dennis is creeping through the Caribbean. Hell, by the time I post this, he could very well be in the Gulf. Yeah, but he's not coming here though. No worries.

What else?

I suppose I am a little peeved by the United States Postal Service at the moment. You know I took that test recently in order to get myself set up with a job with them. Yes, well, it's been four weeks tomorrow and I have yet to receive word back from them on the status of my score. Sure, everyone knows the post office is slow, but there is a line. Isn't there?

I hope you listened to tonight's audio clip. It's a piece of a Diamond Rio's new single. This is the third cut they've promoted for their forthcoming album. Surprisingly, radio hasn't been playing their music much. The "One More Day" guys. The "I Believe" guys. For crying out loud, the "Meet In The Middle" guys. It's good music!

If you have the ability to read, then surely you know I went to see them in concert a couple weeks ago. It was an awesome show. Probably my favorite concert ever. And I've seen Brooks & Dunn. And Toby Keith. (And, if you swear not to tell anyone, the Dixie Chicks — before they started hassling Toby.)

Diamond Rio played "In God We Still Trust" along with a few other new songs that will likely end up on the new album (tentatively slated for later this year). They played the previous two singles which were "Can't You Tell" and "One Believer" as well as a pair of songs I'd never heard.

"Redneck Love Gone Bad" was prefaced by Marty Roe who expressed his hope that it was the story of a girl who dumped him in college. But he's not bitter. I Googled the song and found out that Shannon Lawson has previously recorded it. I downloaded his version, which was all right, but the Rio's is superior.

Earlier in the show they played a song that I believe is called "State of Emergency." That's kind of what it sounded like. It's so hard to understand what people are singing in concerts. All I remember is that I liked it.

So. Before I succumb to the blogger's block and call it a night, I'd like to mention a new web site I'm launching this weekend. For lack of a better idea, I've titled it "Roll Credits." If you hate TV, you can stop reading. Because that's what it's about.

I've been a regular visitor of all sorts of television web sites for many years now. That said, it troubles me that, by and large, most of these sites care little about the people who actually are responsible for making the show happen. As a future producer, I'll attempt to rectify this with my own site (that no one will visit).

Yep. So look for a link this weekend. I bet no one's reading this. They all stopped up there where I said "you can stop reading...".

That was a mistake.

Switch Off: Okay, so how lame was the "Word of the Day"? I know, right? Okay, well it will be back, of course. But for the time being, I just wanted to say that for those of you who have been holding your breath with regard to my short film "Stax" and are still alive, I have good news. It's coming this week. You'll be able to watch it and enjoy all that goodness. I promise.

You can breathe now.

Another shot of Urquhart Castle on the banks of Loch Ness. No, I didn't see the "monster," but I'm tempted to Photoshop it into the background of this picture so I'll have a more interesting answer to that question. 

More pictures from North Carolina. Imagine that. This is a waterfall in the mountains on the Blue Ridge Parkway, another stop on my 1998 road trip. 

Check out the lopsided tree. I shot it in Rosman, North Carolina. 

Who doesn't love Lincoln? He, like, freed the slaves. And, like, kept America together with a whip and a chair. Go Abe!